TL;DR: One is an idiot and one is for idiots.
“Hourglass Appreciation Night” in Utah ain't about timepieces.
Cryan's IPO of last resort will be paired with a fun round of "senior executive musical chairs."
The Swiss bank is letting analysts put on associate pants after just two years.
The Death Star has gone full YOLO.
If you should ever be able to broker a deal like BlackRock's for Barclays Global Investors, it may be worth your while to do so.
Recent events might have had you thinking otherwise, but Credit Suisse does more than just layoff its employees-- sometimes it promotes them, too! Earlier this morning, in fact, the Swiss bumped a whole bunch of guys and girls up to managing director. And even though it's not grundle-to-face level exciting, it's still something.
Contrary to popular belief, not all news is bad news at Citigroup. Yesterday a whole buncha employees were named Managing Directors and while some might say that the only Wall Street promotion news worth reporting is that of Goldman Sachs, Citigroup is a real bank, too, so here ya go:
Unlike the life-changing partnership ritual that takes place every two years, the managing director promotions, announced today, are more of a light pat on the ass that says, you’re doing a pretty okay job so far, but don’t get cocky. You've graduated from VP (a title which is now, amazingly, described to the layman as "the level attained by the disgruntled former employee Greg Smith"), and that's something to be proud of, but stay hungry for the reach-around.