research
Federal Reserve Research Reveals That Millennials Are Just Douchier And Poorer Versions Of Their Own Parents
The kids are not even a little bit alright.
Morgan Stanley: Actually, The Market Is Screwed
Jimmy Gorman's boys are ready to call this a bear market.
According To Science, Bond Traders Are Finance's Most Miserable And Wretched Creatures
New study reveals that most people slinging bonds these days regret the life choices that led them down this sorry path.
Citi Admits That It Didn't See This Whole "I Moved On Her Like A B!tch" Thing Coming
The Big C is done having a political opinion and a private one.
Christian Bale Still Experiencing PTSD From American Psycho Research
Shadowing the traders he studied for the role of Patrick Bateman was/is "disturbing."
CNBC: To Hate Millennials Is To Hate What You've Become
Seems like CNBC is really embracing the whole trolling thing.
Dodd-Frank At Five: Everybody Hates Wall Street
Turns out that everyone is confused and/or lying when it comes to Dodd-Frank.
Wall Street's New Interns Are Younger, Smarter, Still Mostly White Dudes
It still looks like a men's room line at a Dave Matthews concert, but this year's Wall Street intern pool is younger and more know-it-all-y.
Study: Wall Street Still Living By The Code Of "If You See Something, Shut The F*ck Up"
50 Shades of "I didn't see a goddamn thing."
After Exhaustive Research, Goldman Sachs Concludes Millennials Are A Bunch Of Assh*les
We're almost entirely sure this study did not include Gary Cohn wearing the Deadmau5 helmet.
Bristol-Meyers Squibb Employee Conducted Numerous Internet Searches Re: How To Not Get Caught Insider Trading Before Engaging In Insider Trading
Which, it turns out, were not very helpful. Mr. Ramnarine, who served as assistant treasurer for capital markets at Bristol-Meyers Squibb from June, 2011, was charged in New Jersey federal court with three counts of securities fraud related to alleged insider trading in the stocks of three companies Bristol-Meyers was targeting for acquisition. According to the complaint, about a week before some of the alleged trading, Mr. Ramnarine opened up Yahoo on his office computer in Princeton, NJ and entered a flurry of searches, including “can option be traced to purchaser,” “can stock option be traced to purchase inside trading,” “insider trading options traceillegal [sic].” Mr. Ramnarine also looked at web sites and articles discussing insider trading laws and ways to avoid insider trading violations, and even downloaded press releases on insider trading from the office of the Securities and Exchange Commission, according to the complaint. Lessons In How Not To Insider Trade [Deal Journal] US v. Robert Ramnarine [Criminal Complaint]
Having Said All That, He Continues To Prop A Ladder Up Against His Open Bedroom Window Each Night, Just In Case
Rochdale analyst Dick Bové loves fairy tales as much as the next guy. He loves the romance, he loves the drama, he loves the idea of magical footwear. Does he start every morning asking the question, "Mirror, Mirror on the wall, who's the fairest analyst of them all?"? Yes. Does he consider Mike Mayo and Meredith Whitney his evil step-sisters? Yes. Does he dream about being awoken from his slumber by a handsome prince? But even Dick knows that five minutes after the prince wakes you up you're going to be bitching to your girlfriends about being stuck with this asshole who lets the dishes pile up like you're the god damn maid service. Everyone knows that when the handsome prince kissed the beautiful Snow White she awakened and everyone lived happily ever after. “It’s in the book” said comic John Standley when discussing another one solution character Little Bo Peep. This “one solution fits all,” or what I like to call the Snow White Syndrome, is a core belief of most who look at the financial crisis. There are three examples of this in today’s press: Just about everyone is unhappy that the EU leaders could not solve all of the European debt problems with one single solution – i.e., creating Euro Bonds that absorbed all individual country debt. In today’s Financial Times Senator Sherrod Brown (OH, Dem.) and Dallas Fed President Richard Fisher have a single solution to the nation’s banking problem – i.e., break up the big banks. The Wall Street Journal has a different single solution to the problems in banking – i.e., eliminate hedging in bank portfolios. Then there are the other big-time single solutions: The central banks in the North Atlantic Communities believe that by printing money economic woes will go away. Conservatives argue that by cutting taxes, this nation’s economic woes will disappear. The President and Congress believe that by passing laws the economic cycle will be eliminated (“kinda” like the dot-comers who had already eliminated the economic cycle in the 1990s). The Snow White Syndrome is everywhere. We only need to find that prince with the potent lips. The problem, of course, is that no single solution quickly arrived at is likely to achieve the results promised. Snow White Syndrome [Rochdale Research]