World's Greatest Living Financial Performance Artist Unveils New Work: Losing $130 Million By Buying Bitcoin At The Top
Masayoshi Son remains the de Kooning of money.
Satire
Like Any Cool Billionaire These Days, Steve Schwarzman Is Basically A Socialist Now
The Schwarz is having himself a heavy flow news day.
Goldman Sachs Puts All Company-Issued BlackBerrys In The Storage Room So Lloyd Blankfein Has Something To Play With
DJ D-Sol just went Joan Crawford on outdated tech.
Goldman Sachs CEO David Solomon Appears At Alma Mater Hamilton College To Prove That Elite Colleges Do Not Predict Future Success
This is the reminder of American possibility that we all needed right now.
Larry Kudlow Has Been Found Alive, Well And Back On his Bullshit
Our prayers have been answered, for Kuddles hath returned.
Where In The World Is Larry Kudlow?
The market is bleeding from the face and Kuddles is not on TV...are we all going to die?
Here Are Twenty Words Put Together For The Express Purpose Of Making You Want To Give Up Entirely On Today
We didn't know that they had Mad Libs in Hell.
Jim Cramer Clearly Hates Investment Bankers
The Mad One has a bank merger idea that indicates he yearns to bathe in the blood of I-Bankers.
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NYSE Is Triggered And Saucy About Being Called "Nice-Y" Which Is What Everyone Should Call It Forever
You should never tweet, Nice-Y.
Wells Fargo Reveals New Logo And Everything Is Fixed Now
It's hard to remember all the fraud and rapacious fees what with this clean, new look.
David Einhorn Tells Investors The Only Thing That Went Wrong in 2018 Was All Of His Investing
D-Hornz is becoming the William Faulkner of hedge fund investor letters.
Trump Administration Floating Some Names For Last Head Of The World Bank
Ivanka or David Malpass? How about the sweet release of death?
It's Getting Hard To Remember When Bill Ackman Wasn't A Golden God Of Finance
The Ackmanaissance is raging on into 2019.
Larry Ellison Joins Tesla Board As Elon Musk Positions Himself To Appear More Likable By Comparison
"Compared to Larry, Elon is kind of humble and sweet" people will say.
WeWork Changes Name In Obvious Attempt To Confuse SoftBank Into Giving It More Money
With the spigot from Masa Son turning off slowly, WeWork's self-adoration takes a dark turn.
Elon Musk Determined To Keep Legal System Aware That He Once Had A Cool Girlfriend
If you want to keep your ex-girlfriend out of a legal situation, make your lawyer file a motion all about your ex-girlfriend.
Jim Cramer Wants To Be Fed Chair
The Mad One is now openly applying to be Donald Trump's central banker.
Market Plunges In Shock After Jay Powell Does Exactly What He Said He Was Going To Do
Guess who isn't a cuck anymore...
Tom Farley's Greatest Act At NYSE Was Pranking Snap Into Going Public
It turns out that Evan Spiegel really wasn't told how the public markets work.
BNP Paribas Executive Offers Pepé Le Pew Defense In Sexual Discrimination Trial
"Oh, mon cheri, how can you be mad when you are my 'Princess'?"