Larry Ellison Joins Tesla Board As Elon Musk Positions Himself To Appear More Likable By Comparison
"Compared to Larry, Elon is kind of humble and sweet" people will say.
Silicon Valley
Robinhood's Ludicrous New Free Money Savings Account Product Is The Long-Term Answer To Goldman Sachs' Marcus Problem
Hey, if they can have stupid ideas, why can't we?
And Now, Ashton Kutcher Talks About Scooters And Disruption
We've missed you, hilarious Silicon Valley self-owns.
The Coming Age Of Trust-Busting Remains Techs Biggest Risk
The Valley better watch its back.
Hedge Fund Banks On Millennial Ignorance And Newfound Nicotine Addiction
Nicotine always finds a way
Why Will No One Take Warren Buffett’s Gosh-Darned Money?
Uber has at last found a fundraising it can do without.
Guy Who Shot Car Into Space While Customers Waited For Cars They Already Paid For Wants To Rank The Media's Credibility
It might be time to shut the fuck up for a minute, Elon.
Silicon Valley Is Begging For Wall Street-Style Regulation
ie Cosmetic and lame rules loosely enforced that provide a placebo effect for an industry that Washington doesn't full grasp.
Uber Cures Mark Zuckerberg's Case Of "The Mondays" By Literally Killing Someone
Not a great day to be a tech giant.
Anthony Noto Realizes That Saving Jack Dorsey From Himself Is A Terrible Job, Gets New Job Saving SoFi From Itself
Only a Goldman Sachs guy could save SoFi and fuck Twitter in one solitary chess move.
David Einhorn Takes Position In Twitter, Seems To Think That Twitter Should Suck Less
This is going to be GREAT!
Elon Musk Admits To Being Lame At Orgies
"When's Elon gonna shut up about The Singularity and plow someone?" thought all the VCs, standing there naked from the fleece vest down.
Reputed Tech Visionary To Become Actual Billionaire
Travis Kalanick is cashing in on life by cashing out on Uber.
Fidelity Subtly Hedging On Uber By Very Publicly Investing In Uber's Hated Archenemy
Someone is smirking under their pink mustache.
Marissa Mayer Is The Keyser Söze Of Business
The greatest trick Marissa ever pulled was convincing the world she didn't know what she was doing.
Sheryl Sandberg Leans In To Take Public Beating On Mark Zuckerberg's Behalf
Facebook's fuck-up is on Sheryl because The Zuck is woke now.
Ray Dalio Will Give Every Company The Opportunity To Behave Like Bridgewater, Because How Could That Ever Backfire?
The algorithms of Principles could soon be yours...please be careful.
SoFi Scandal Turning Quickly From "Nothing Was Sexual" To "Everybody Is Having Sex With Everybody"
According to an insider, these guys make Uber look like Downton Abbey.
Dara Khosrowshahi Has Already Succeeded As Uber CEO
Three simple letters and the man is immortal.
Michael Jordan Finds A More Socially Acceptable Way To Blow Millions Of Dollars
Gambling is fine as long as you do it on startups.