Badly-Timed Bonus Watch ‘19
SoftBank and Tesla, the two companies that make the least sense, give their bosses rich pats on the back for jobs apparently well-done by some inscrutable measure.
SoftBank
Masa Son’s Unicorns Were Actually Lemmings
The last year really could have gone somewhat better for SoftBank.
Most Brazen CEO In History Accuses Brazen Former Patron Of Being Too Brazen
The case of Adam Neumann vs. Masa Son will be one for the books.
Large Investments In WeWork, Uber Apparently Bad For Business
Masa Son’s got bad news for the Saudis.
Wily Masa Son Made Damned Sure He Wouldn’t Have To Throw Away Another $3 Billion On WeWork
In his latest piece of financial performance art, Masa Son is getting sued by himself.
Masa Son Invites WeWork To Sue The Only Thing Keeping It Alive
Son himself would have the stones to do it, of course, but does Not Adam Neumann?
Masa Son To Sell Off Assets Amounting To SoftBank’s Entire Market Cap, Will Still Have A SoftBank Afterwards
This is some masterful put-up-or-shut-up stuff.
Masa Son Thinks $15 Billion May Actually Be Enough To Spend On $5 Billion Company
On second thought, SoftBank might not need the extra $3 billion in equity, thanks.
Federal Court Revives Long-Form Financial Performance Art Of Masa Son
He gets to sell Sprint and its $40 billion in debt and lives to do something else bizarre.
French Regulator Doesn’t Have To Understand What Paul Singer Did To Know He Did Something Wrong
The Japanese, on the other hand, are proving a bit more open because, you know, SoftBank.
Masa Son's Masterwork Is A PowerPoint Presentation About WeWork That Will One Day Hang In The Louvre
One solitary slide in the WeWork autopsy report to SoftBank investors is a true encapsulation of the artist's soul.
Man Who Drank Tequila And Smoked Pot Barefoot On Company Jet Allegedly Thought Maternity Leave Was Paid Vacation
The Adam Neumann platinum parachute lawsuits are coming in hot, and the first one is a doozy.
WeWork Is The Kind Of Investment That Would Have Appealed To 2016 Bill Ackman, Says 2019 Bill Ackman
In fact, Mr. Neri Oxman thinks the whole thing is worth roughly $0.
The Fall Of WeWork Has Destroyed The Last Pure Thing In Global Finance: Masayoshi Son's Profligate Whimsy
Seeing a hypothetical $40 billion go up in allegorical smoke is having an impact on the greatest living performance artist in finance.
Softbank Paying Adam Neumann $1.7 Billion To Just Please Stop Elevating The World's Consciousness
Masa Son remains clearly determined to make Neumann look like a transformative business genius.
Masayoshi Son Ready To Bring His Total Investment In WeWork To $15 Billion...At An $8 Billion Valuation, Because YOLO
SoftBank is ready to fix WeWork because co-dependent relationships are toxic.
Frankenstein Reportedly Nearing Deal To Rescue His Monster At A Sub-$8 Billion Valuation
SoftBank is ready to admit that it needs WeWork to survive.
WeWork Asking Jamie Dimon "Why Stop Now, Baby?"
What's left of We is hoping JPM will pony up $2 billion to keep the kombucha taps running, but that would almost certainly come with Dimon-strenght strings attached.
WeWork Takes A More Holistic And Forward-Thinking View Of Its Consciousness Regarding The IPO Process
Translation: Masa Son pulled the plug on this thing last night because of course he did.
SoftBank And WeWork Have Some Kinky Thing Going And It's Weird To Watch
Get a room, you guys...WeKnow a place that charges by the month.
IPO Literally Built On Smiles Tanks On Listing, WeWork IPO Somehow Still Apparently Happening
SmileDirect is not finding much love today.
Never One To Fall Victim To Logic, WeWork Forging Ahead Towards An IPO
WeWork's drunkest friend begs WeWork to sober up, WeWork says "Nah, I'm good."
WeWork Asks Wall Street To Value It At More Than $20 Billion Or GTFO
This is escalating quickly.
WeWork Now Offering IPO Investors A 50% Discount On Pretending That WeWork Is A Real Company
Adam Neumann is experimenting with quasi-realistic thinking.