The Kafkaesque conclusions to the Tidjane Thiam and Birgitte Bonnesen sagas.
There’s something about him that just makes Swiss people uncomfortable, not that we have any idea what….
Credit Suisse’s institutional shareholders have their CEO’s back like Republican senators have the president’s.
The bank misspoke when it said the surveillance was isolated, but on that point only.
A bit of extra vigilance might be in order, and will probably be enough to catch the hapless rent-a-cops in Tidjane Thiam’s employ.
I mean, if you really think about it.
Surprise! Tidjane Thiam’s been cleared by his bank’s probe into some Big Lebowski-esque private investigating.
We demand a probe into Credit Suisse’s Arborgate!
With the European economy in not-so slow collapse, Tidjane Thiam is wondering how much people like having their money in Swiss Francs.
‘Cuz that’s the only thing Credit Suisse is failing at these days.
Still, curb the enthusiasm that might evoke.
The bank tells Bloomberg that it isn't mulling over layoffs, which makes us wonder "why not?"
This is Credit Suisse, after all.
In fairness, this IS Credit Suisse.
If all of the layoffs, pay cuts and shade-throwing didn’t get the message across, maybe hiring part-time regional co-heads will.
If bank CEOs can't take a bonus despite persistent losses, what the fuck are we even doing here?
It's the thought that counts.
Regulator reportedly looking to punish birds for flying.
The Beavis and Butthead of bank management.
Important men don't change in a crisis, they become bigger versions of themselves.
Things are quite to very awkward at the Swiss bank.
Thanks for asking.