Even UBS Recoiled In Horror From Deutsche Bank’s Investment Bank
Sergio Ermotti send his apologies to the 18,000 people without jobs today as a result.
UBS
UBS Wealth Managers Can Hire One New Person, But Only After They Sacrifice Five Of Their Own To The Gods Of Swiss Banking
Sergio Ermotti is telling HR to "Go Aztec."
![By US House of Representatives ([1]) [Public domain], via Wikimedia Commons](https://dealbreaker.com/.image/ar_16:9%2Cc_fill%2Ccs_srgb%2Cfl_progressive%2Cg_faces:center%2Cq_auto:good%2Cw_620/MTYxMjc3MTE5MzI5NTQ0MTU2/hensarling.jpg)
Wall Street's Favorite Former Congressman Jeb Hensarling Apparently Gets Lost In Revolving Door, Ends Up At UBS
We were under the assumption that you were supposed to reward yourself for serving special interests in Congress...not punish yourself.
UBS Is Taking No Chances These Days
Do anything that might make a regulator do so much as a double take and you’re fired.
UBS Announces That The Q1 '19 Investment Banking Environment Was UBS-Levels Of Sucky
CEO Sergio Ermotti warns everyone that European banks might report numbers troublingly close to his bank's normal ones.
Bonus Watch '19: UBS Allegedly Hopes Pregnant Employees Enjoy Babies More Than Money
The Swiss lender is pretty sure all that time spent complaining about gender equity could be spent parenting that baby who ruined your career.
France Continues Attack On Very Meaning Of The Word ‘Swiss’
Maybe €4.5 billion in fines and such will finally teach those Alpine asset-hiders a thing or two?
Deutsche Bank CFO Incredulous That People Actually Believe The Merger Rumors Swirling Around His Tire Fire Of A Bank
James von Moltke cannot believe that the press has the balls to say that anyone wants to merge with Deutsche Bank.
![Brian Katt at the English language Wikipedia [GFDL, CC-BY-SA-3.0 or GFDL], via Wikimedia Commons](https://dealbreaker.com/.image/ar_16:9%2Cc_fill%2Ccs_srgb%2Cfl_progressive%2Cg_faces:center%2Cq_auto:good%2Cw_620/MTYxMjc3MTI2MzA4ODY1NTI1/bofa.jpg)
Layoffs Watch '18: UBS Wealth Managers Getting Cheaper By The Dozens
Sounds like a few dozen people are coming around to the idea that UBS sucks.
Opening Bell 7.24.18
UBS Merger gets some steam; Fannie Mae sees an exit; Planet Fitness patrons get nude and more!
Pensions Accuse Morgan Stanley, Goldman Sachs Et Al Of Being Just A Little Too Tight With Each Other
Either the stock lending industry is truly a morass of collusion or some lawyers had too much time on their hands.
Former UBS Compliance Officer Hit With Insider Trading Charges Because Sometimes These Just Write Themselves
To us, Fabiana Abdel-Malek, you are perfect.
![Still just a glimmer in the would-be manipulator's eye. By JHerbstman [Public domain], via Wikimedia Commons](https://dealbreaker.com/.image/ar_16:9%2Cc_fill%2Ccs_srgb%2Cfl_progressive%2Cg_faces:center%2Cq_auto:good%2Cw_620/MTYxMjc3NTcwNTY5NDgwMTU2/tbill.jpg)
If There’s An Opaque Trade That Banks Control, They’re Probably Gonna Manipulate It
The Justice Department wants to have a little chat with some banks about when-issued securities.
![By Marie-Lan Nguyen (Own work) [CC BY 3.0], via Wikimedia Commons](https://dealbreaker.com/.image/ar_16:9%2Cc_fill%2Ccs_srgb%2Cfl_progressive%2Cg_faces:center%2Cq_auto:good%2Cw_620/MTYxMjc3Njc4MjEyMTYzNTQ4/lepenhc.jpg)
UBS: ‘President Marine Le Pen’ Worse Than The Sack Of Rome, Thirty Years’ War And Brexit Combined
Zut allors! Quelle catastophe!
![By thetaxhaven (Kweku-Adoboli-007Uploaded by traveler100) [CC BY 2.0], via Wikimedia Commons](https://dealbreaker.com/.image/ar_16:9%2Cc_fill%2Ccs_srgb%2Cfl_progressive%2Cg_faces:center%2Cq_auto:good%2Cw_620/MTYxMjc3NTkwNzAxODc2NzI1/kweku.jpg)
Without Kweku Adoboli, Who Will Tell British Would-Be Rogue Traders That It’s Not Their Fault?
If you kick him out of the country, the next billion-dollar unauthorized trading scandal is on your head.
Not Being Able To Swiss Bank Anymore A Real Drag On Big Swiss Bank
UBS is having an identity crisis.
Opening Bell: 12.21.16
UBS trading floor is a ghost town; Wall Street corners the blockchain market; horrors from the deep; and more.
Citi, BofA, Wells Positioning Themselves For Post-Risk Trumperica
Ain't no party like a unregulated bank party, cuz an unregulated bank party might never EVER stop.
![By Tmail820 (http://hightea-brisbane.com.au) [CC BY-SA 3.0], via Wikimedia Commons](https://dealbreaker.com/.image/ar_16:9%2Cc_fill%2Ccs_srgb%2Cfl_progressive%2Cg_faces:center%2Cq_auto:good%2Cw_620/MTYxMjc3NzI5NzUxNjQwMDI4/high_tea.jpg)
UBS CEO Tells His London-Based Employees To Get Their Tea And Crumpets In While They Still Can
See if you can guess why...
![By AntanaCoins (Own work) [CC BY-SA 3.0], via Wikimedia Commons](https://dealbreaker.com/.image/ar_16:9%2Cc_fill%2Ccs_srgb%2Cfl_progressive%2Cg_faces:center%2Cq_auto:good%2Cw_620/MTYxMjc3MTk1MDI4NTM5MzU2/bitcoin.jpg)
The Bitcoin Bros Have Lost
...to the big banks, who are trying their own hands at the ole digital currency game.