UBS

We were under the assumption that you were supposed to reward yourself for serving special interests in Congress...not punish yourself.

Do anything that might make a regulator do so much as a double take and you’re fired.

CEO Sergio Ermotti warns everyone that European banks might report numbers troublingly close to his bank's normal ones.

The Swiss lender is pretty sure all that time spent complaining about gender equity could be spent parenting that baby who ruined your career.

Maybe €4.5 billion in fines and such will finally teach those Alpine asset-hiders a thing or two?

New CEO Andrea Orcel is not the fun kind of Italian.

James von Moltke cannot believe that the press has the balls to say that anyone wants to merge with Deutsche Bank.

Sure, she’s escaping from Barclays, but still.

Sounds like a few dozen people are coming around to the idea that UBS sucks.

It just can’t stop getting slammed by perfect storms.

UBS Merger gets some steam; Fannie Mae sees an exit; Planet Fitness patrons get nude and more!

Either the stock lending industry is truly a morass of collusion or some lawyers had too much time on their hands.

To us, Fabiana Abdel-Malek, you are perfect.

The Justice Department wants to have a little chat with some banks about when-issued securities.

Zut allors! Quelle catastophe!

If you kick him out of the country, the next billion-dollar unauthorized trading scandal is on your head.

UBS is having an identity crisis.

UBS trading floor is a ghost town; Wall Street corners the blockchain market; horrors from the deep; and more.