UBS
Jamie Dimon Is A Pretty Permissive Babysitter, It Turns Out
He really let the kids run wild on their devices without even a glance.
What Credit Suisse Lacks In Money Lost On Archegos It Makes Up For In Ominous Requests For Information
The Justice Department and Prudential Regulation Authority have some questions.
UBS Posts Small Q2 Loss, Gets Head Start On Q3 Losses With SEC Fine
The Swiss don’t believe in procrastinating.
World’s Banks Doing Their Part To Snuff Out Democracy In Hong Kong
Not a fan of Beijing’s heavy hand? No wealth management services for you!
UBS Probably Not Renewing A Whole Bunch Of Leases
The former proprietor of the world’s largest trading floor is eyeing spare bedrooms, breakfast nooks for one-third of employees.
UBS Now A Miserable Enigma Wrapped Around A Point72 Hedge Fund
Nothing else is solid or steadfast in Switzerland but an in-house hedge fund.
Unable To Be A Real Swiss Bank Anymore, UBS Decides To Go Dutch
Desperate times call for frugal measures.
Layoffs Watch ’20: Iqbal Khan Gets Into The UBS Swing Of Things
That or he’s taking out his frustration over being spied on out on 500 of you, and then spying on the rest of you for good measure.
UBS Has Another UBS Quarter, Pretends To See Light At End Of Tunnel That Is Actually A Cave With A Recession In The Middle
Sergio Ermotti barely notices the I-bank’s losses anymore, which is the point of them, right?
Hopefully Credit Suisse Investigation Into Its Investigation Will Result In No More Arrests
And uncover whether its PIs thought Iqbal Khan’s kids were Credit Suisse employees about to jump ship.
Even UBS Recoiled In Horror From Deutsche Bank’s Investment Bank
Sergio Ermotti send his apologies to the 18,000 people without jobs today as a result.
UBS Wealth Managers Can Hire One New Person, But Only After They Sacrifice Five Of Their Own To The Gods Of Swiss Banking
Sergio Ermotti is telling HR to "Go Aztec."
![By US House of Representatives ([1]) [Public domain], via Wikimedia Commons](https://dealbreaker.com/.image/ar_16:9%2Cc_fill%2Ccs_srgb%2Cfl_progressive%2Cg_faces:center%2Cq_auto:good%2Cw_620/MTYxMjc3MTE5MzI5NTQ0MTU2/hensarling.jpg)
Wall Street's Favorite Former Congressman Jeb Hensarling Apparently Gets Lost In Revolving Door, Ends Up At UBS
We were under the assumption that you were supposed to reward yourself for serving special interests in Congress...not punish yourself.
UBS Is Taking No Chances These Days
Do anything that might make a regulator do so much as a double take and you’re fired.
UBS Announces That The Q1 '19 Investment Banking Environment Was UBS-Levels Of Sucky
CEO Sergio Ermotti warns everyone that European banks might report numbers troublingly close to his bank's normal ones.
Bonus Watch '19: UBS Allegedly Hopes Pregnant Employees Enjoy Babies More Than Money
The Swiss lender is pretty sure all that time spent complaining about gender equity could be spent parenting that baby who ruined your career.
France Continues Attack On Very Meaning Of The Word ‘Swiss’
Maybe €4.5 billion in fines and such will finally teach those Alpine asset-hiders a thing or two?
Deutsche Bank CFO Incredulous That People Actually Believe The Merger Rumors Swirling Around His Tire Fire Of A Bank
James von Moltke cannot believe that the press has the balls to say that anyone wants to merge with Deutsche Bank.
![Brian Katt at the English language Wikipedia [GFDL, CC-BY-SA-3.0 or GFDL], via Wikimedia Commons](https://dealbreaker.com/.image/ar_16:9%2Cc_fill%2Ccs_srgb%2Cfl_progressive%2Cg_faces:center%2Cq_auto:good%2Cw_620/MTYxMjc3MTI2MzA4ODY1NTI1/bofa.jpg)
Layoffs Watch '18: UBS Wealth Managers Getting Cheaper By The Dozens
Sounds like a few dozen people are coming around to the idea that UBS sucks.