valuations
Robinhood May Lose 81% Of Its Revenue, Still Going Public Anyway
No payment for order flow? No problem for this merry band of troublemakers.
Robinhood Users Will Buy Literally Anything New At Literally Any Price
If you’ve got something tech-looking, file for an IPO immediately.
The Fall Of WeWork Has Destroyed The Last Pure Thing In Global Finance: Masayoshi Son's Profligate Whimsy
Seeing a hypothetical $40 billion go up in allegorical smoke is having an impact on the greatest living performance artist in finance.
Masayoshi Son Ready To Bring His Total Investment In WeWork To $15 Billion...At An $8 Billion Valuation, Because YOLO
SoftBank is ready to fix WeWork because co-dependent relationships are toxic.
WeWork Asks Wall Street To Value It At More Than $20 Billion Or GTFO
This is escalating quickly.
SoftBank Might Take An Investment Fund Public For $100B, Because Money Is A Concept And Numbers Are Meaningless
Masayoshi Son, you glorious sumbitch.
Softbank CEO Masa Son Is Officially the Greatest Performance Artist In Finance
The de Kooning of money is about to create his masterpiece.
Tim Cook Is Boring, So Now Apple Is Only Worth $1 Trillion
If only he'd overpromised, underdelivered, burned cash, acted like a maniac and then apologized...Apple would worth at least $10 trillion.
After Being Shown A Twitter Stock Chart, Snap Curbs IPO Enthusiasm
"$25 billion?...You're gonna stick with that?" - The Market
Proposed Professionalization Of Valuation Analysis Poses An Existential Threat To Valeant
How do you put a price on failure?
Snapchat IPO Will Let You Put Cute Filters On Your Money And Then Watch It Disappear
Oh, we've missed these.
Pure Storage's IPO Was More Like An IP-Oops
We might finally be reaching a tech valuation/IPO inflection point.
Credit Suisse: It's A Tech Bubble, Stupid
Unicorns are suddenly everywhere, and that is literally nonsense.
The Marie Antoinette Commuter Option Is Increasingly Unavailable In The Bay Area.
Today in Silicon Valley schadenfreude.
VC Firm Stretches Bad Metaphor To Its Absurd End
Seriously, can we stop with the f*cking "Unicorns" already?
Silicon Alley's First $10 Billion Tech Startup Isn't A Tech Startup
WeWork is worth a sh*t ton of money, but that means very little to NYC's tech scene.
Messaging Startup For Creeps Wants To Be Less Creepy
Evan Spiegel are looking to trade dick pics for ad impressions, but they only seem to know how they WON'T be doing it.
Secret's Out, Tech Valuations Might Not Be Totally Realistic
Numbers are fun. Crazy numbers are even funner.
The Hottest Startup In New York Is Oscar
It's got everything; a health care business model, a real estate scion founder, Goldman Sachs, a $1 billion valuation, and dancers dressed like Peter Thiel... nope - sorry - that's actually Peter Thiel.
Secret Magical Startup Emerges Into Universe Worth Billions
It's a Silicon Valley miracle...or valuation stunt. We cant' tell anymore.