Verizon

But does her golden parachute include an exciting new gig at Verizon?

Allowing Marissa to "claw back" her own bonus is the kind of PR clusterfuck that makes Wells Fargo giggle.

If this relationship is gonna work out, there are going to be a quarter of a billion fewer dollars at stake.

We're gonna hear something soon, but the SEC might be helping the buyer.

Is Altaba an Esperanto word for "The Blonde Lady Hurt Me"?

TFW you can longer pretend bae isn't crazy as fuck.

This engagement was never gonna work out, you guys.

The merger is mega, but the cruelty is deep.

Well ain't this some bullshit?

This was not what Verizon fell in love with over the phone.

Psst, Verizon...RUN!

Oh, Marissa, you've outdone yourself.

Really, Verizon, you're shocked Yahoo might not be in great shape? Really?

Just when you thought Marissa couldn't f@ck up any worse.

Marissa Mayer finally finds herself on the right side of schadenfreude.

She could stay on post-merger, but the Gods of Logic would weep.

She might just pull a half-dead rabbit out of a badly-damaged hat after all, you guys.

"Seriously bro?" asks a weary Verizon.