The guy just loves animals, okay?
Deutsche Bank discards plans for U.S. digital bank; HSBC restructures investment banking arm; Couple stages engagement photos to look like a murder scene; and more.
Las Vegas sports gambler pleads not guilty to insider trading; Asian regulators want banks to reveal Panama Papers links; 77-year-old congressional candidate busted with 180 pot plants; and more.
Goldman's Cohn defends bank's trading unit amid revenue slump; Meet the most powerful man in banking; Bible translated into emojis 'for millennials'; and more.
Somalia plants to print its own currency; North Korea linked to digital attacks on global banks; Kim Jong Un's aunt runs a dry-cleaners in NYC; and more.
SnapChat valued at $18 billion; Why Phil Mickelson didn’t get busted; South Carolina man applied for loan so he could purchase meth; and more.
Facebook is hedge funds' new tech darling; Yes, there is a company named Big Ass Solutions; Meet Britain's hidden community of men who role-play as dogs; and more.
Chart alleges ENORMOUS pay for traders at Bank of America Merrill Lynch; Herbalife reaches preliminary settlement with FTC; Casey Anthony allegedly paid her lawyer with sex; and more.
Accused insider trader threw his phone in a creek to derail FBI; Regulator takes aim at ETFs; Wrong toppings on burrito prompt attack; and more.
Ex-Nomura trader says bank crucified him over client demise; Kashkari's push to end TBTF; Yankee stadium makes America great again with the 'Grub Tub'; and more.
Feds signal June increase is on the table; Wells Fargo cuts Valeant; Woman Robbed Bank While Babysitting Kids, Police Say; and more.
Recession fears are running rampant on Wall Street; Pay cuts, layoffs loom; Key West police rescue woman from giant banyan tree; and more.
Bank system hacked again; IMF doesn't like Brexit; Mark Cuban offers to be Clinton's running mate; Botox fraud charged with swindling clinic out of $1250 in injections; and more.
Chanos was short LendingClub; Goldman hot on debt; Finland offers world's first Burger King spa; and more.
Ackman says "material progress" has been made at Valeant; Rubenstein surprised macro hedge funds failed to spectacularly; Key West police rescue woman from giant banyan tree; and more.
Cliff Asness didn't like the rich hedge fund manager list; The legal tweak that led to disaster for Lending Club; SnapChat founder buys Harrison Ford's old house; Virginia woman pole dances for her 100th birthday; and more.
Carl Icahn is angry with Bernie Sanders; John Mack invested with former LendingClub CEO; Krispy Kreme agrees to buyout; Japanese baseball game delayed when foul-smelling fish falls from the sky; and more.
Credit Suisse banker case said to widen with 3 new suspects; Berkshire operating profit falls short; Chinese live-streamers banned from 'seductively eating bananas' on camera; and more.
Kentucky Derby Picks for the Value Investor; NJ bank pays says directors more than at any finance firm; Bosses who got screwed for boning in the corner office; and more.
Warren unleashes on Trump; Larry Robbins tells investors to "just hang on"; Bill Gross sells stamps; Inside the world’s first sex-themed amusement park; and more.
UBS loses; BNP gains; 9 accused of losing investors $131M in ForceField Energy scheme; Man finds 'big box of blood' on Wisconsin street; and more.
Citadel v Citigroup; Everyone hates hedge fund fees; 'Dennis Rodman’s ranting saved me from North Korean gulag' and more.
Wall Street's highest-paid executive; A disgraced trader's struggle for redemption; Bloomberg v ZeroHedge; Family finds dog that’s been missing for a decade; and more.
Icahn exits Apple stake; Bank trade group claims fed dividend cut might be unconstitutional; Moscow spending $1.32 million to create 'perfect weather' for May Day; and more.
Ex-Citi exec claims whistleblower mistreatment; Marissa Mayer dodges bullet; So it turns out my dead father worked in porn; and more.
Lloyd Blankfein blamed for Goldman Sachs’ ‘lost decade’; I quit JP Morgan and ended up winning two Grammy awards; Manspreading at work is good for your health; Mayor Accused Of Stealing 111 Road Signs; and more.
Mike Mayo wants Citi, BofA, Comerica to shrink faster; Argentina's holdout saga is over; British pub offers women help with Tinder dates 'gone wrong'; and more.
SunEdison files for Chapter 11; BNY Mellon rises; Blackstone plummets; London restaurant to encourage nude dining; and more.
NY wants foreign banks to turn over Panama records; Blackstone hedge funds falls 15%; Motorist Crashes Into Walmart, Blames God; and more.
Theranos director says investors still believe in CEO; Martin Shkreli dropped from lawsuit tied to Wu-Tang album; French statue gets detachable penis to thwart thieves; and more.
BlackRock downgrades outlook on U.S. assets; Argentina is back in the international bond markets; Moms spend thousands on cosmetic surgery to get Coachella-ready; and more.
Jose Cuevero said to be planning IPO; SunEdison preparing for bankruptcy; Octopus slips out of aquarium tank, crawls across floor, escapes down pipe to ocean; and more.
Bill Miller buys Valeant; BofA sees more cuts coming; Florida man plans to use 'ocean bubble' to travel to the Caribbean; and more.
CME Group to close NY trading floor by end of 2016; Argentina v Hedge funds may soon be over; New York man watches 94 hours of TV for Guinness record; and more.
Bill Ackman Is a Star at Tribeca Film Festival, Even As He’s Losing Billions; Bellagio Named Favorite Hotel Of The Rich; Bros Fake Zombie Apocalypse For Drugged Sister’s Ride Home From Surgery; and more.
Clinton says Sanders doesn't know sh*t about Wall Street; Bats Global's IPO said to be oversubscribed; Guinness record for human mattress dominoes broken with 1,200 participants; and more.
Steve Wynn tells investors 'Nobody likes being around poor people'; March was kind to hedge funds; Man who scaled cliff to propose to girlfriend has to be rescued; and more.
Valeant has best 3-day run in nearly 20 years; Treasury says banks should be probed on Panama Papers; Meet the masseuse who bites Kanye and Steven Tyler; and more.
Citi will limit executive pay when investor returns fall; Jamie Dimon says lay off big banks; Penis Ring Sparks Bomb Alert In German Casino; and more.
Iceland PM resigns over offshore investments; New inversion rules test pending deals; United flight attendant leaves packed plane in Houston on emergency slide; and more.
Jobs and the Fed; Tech's IPO allergy; Saudi Arabian oil megafund; Guy builds creepily life-like Scarlett Johansson robot on his balcony; China cancels April Fool's; and more!
Yahoo; Argentina; Banker prison; Airbnb offers bedroom submerged in Paris shark tank; and more.
Growth of fintech forecast to spur almost 2m banking job cuts; Bill Gross is pissed; Erin Callan speaks; Mississippi cheerleader admits she tried to join ISIS; and more.
New rules on pay may be coming; The demise of China's hedge fund king; Bank of America bans staff from saying ‘Brexit’; Teen arrested for stealing Roswell flying saucer; and more.
Yahoo can't catch a break; Bangladesh central bank weighs lawsuit against NY Fed over cyber heist; Angry California man throws 13-foot python in Sushi restaurant; and more.
Ray Dalio on how Bridgewater is misunderstood; Fed officials see rate hike in April; Cooperman gets Wells notice; Man helps foil robbery during Popeyes job interview, gets hired; and more.
Two senate dems want to curb activist activity; Bullard says rates should go up; Counteroffer tops Marriott bid for Starwood; Sex toy sparks bomb scare; and more.
Tech loves MBAs; Michael Goguen v Amber Laurel Baptiste; Man Accused Of Egging Former Neighbor’s House More Than 100 Times; and more.
Pershing Square down 26.4% YTD; JPM and Citi shareholders will vote on breaking up banks; Florida woman fights to keep potty-trained pet alligator; and more.
Jefferies reports losses; RBS plans cuts; Short who got Valeant right on trial; Drunken circus worker takes tiger cub for a walk at shopping mall; and more.